When you find out a mutual follow has lots of followers
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” basically mean the same thing
unless you’re at a funeral
I want a cactus in a cute little pot and I’ll name it after you because you’re a fucking prick.
*takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle* my day was fine
me during the whole month of october
Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
Plus it’s always fun to see Tom faint.
if anyone puts that goddamn meme on this post i’m reporting them. you know the one.